RESPECT, BUSINESS ETIQUETTE AND THE DOUBLE STANDARD

RESPECT, BUSINESS ETIQUETTE AND THE DOUBLE STANDARD

By Comr. Vincent Aluu PhD

In April 2007, shortly after I was offered employment by UBA, I spent three weeks at the UBA School in Enugu for our induction programme.

Among those who taught us were Mr. Nnamdi Okonkwo, who later became Managing Director of Fidelity Bank, and several other resource persons. One of the things we were taught was business etiquette, including how colleagues should address one another.

The culture was simple: colleagues addressed themselves by their first names. Vincent, Joseph, Reginald and others. That was the professional culture.
Even emails from Mr. Tony Elumelu to staff at the time often ended simply with “TOE” — Tony Elumelu, without the prefix “Mr.”

When I moved to Fidelity Bank in 2008, the culture was no different. Our then Managing Director, Mr. Reginald Ihejianyi, often signed simply as “RI.”

So, from a purely professional standpoint, the young lady who addressed Tony Elumelu as “Tony” may not have committed any offence. She may simply have applied what she was taught in a corporate environment where first-name interaction was part of the culture.

Professionally, she may have been right. Morally and culturally, however, she may have been wrong.

There is a distinction we must understand.

As Africans, particularly in Nigeria, we attach considerable importance to age, seniority, titles and social hierarchy.

In my own upbringing, you don’t casually address an elder, senior or boss by their first name. You say “Sir,” “Ma,” “Oga” or “Boss.”

Throughout my banking career, I addressed my seniors as “Sir” or “Madam.” I had no problem with it, and even today, I still address people I consider senior to me with those courtesies.

I have also had reasons to reprimand students who address me improperly. Not necessarily because they have committed a grave offence, but because respect is part of character and training.

That said, I believe Tony Elumelu should also understand the context from which the young lady was coming. He knows the corporate culture of his own institution better than most people. If UBA trained generations of its employees to relate professionally on a first-name basis, then someone who follows that culture should not automatically be treated as though she lacks home training.

Correcting her was not wrong. The manner and context of the correction are what matter.
But there is another question worth asking.

I recently watched an interview where another interviewer addressed Tony Elumelu simply as “Tony.” He smiled, responded and continued with the interview. He did not stop to demand that she address him as “Mr. Elumelu” or “Sir.”

So, what changed?

Is it that first-name familiarity is acceptable in one setting but disrespectful in another? Is it acceptable when coming from certain people but unacceptable when coming from young Nigerians? Or are we unconsciously operating with two different standards—one for the Western corporate environment and another for Africans?

These are legitimate questions.

Respect should never be confused with intimidation. And corporate informality should never be confused with bad manners.

The lesson for Gen Z is simple: learn both cultures.

Understand professional etiquette, but never abandon the values of good upbringing.

Know when first-name interaction is appropriate, and know when age, office, seniority or circumstance demands “Sir,” “Ma,” “Boss” or another respectful form of address.

At the same time, those of us who are older and occupy positions of authority must also be careful not to weaponise titles and hierarchy.

Respect should be reciprocal. Culture should be understood. Professional rules should be applied consistently. And nobody should be humiliated simply for following a rule they were taught.

That, to me, is the balanced conversation we should be having.